Category Archives: Life Coaching

When People Bring Out the Worst in You, Grab a Mirror!

Mirror, mirror on the wall…

Throughout our existence on Earth we will befriend individuals who uplift us, make us smile and bring out the best in us. And sometimes we will experience the complete opposite: people who bring out the absolute worst in us.

You know… that friend who makes your want to pull your hair out, the confrontational, the controversal or the lazy, complaining, only calls you when they need help, fair-weather friend. You know EXACTLY who I’m referring to!

When this ‘friend’ starts on their venting rampage, starts cussing out the checkout girl or begins belittling you about something trivial, what’s your initial response? Fight!Or flight. Right?

We immediately feel threatened, become defensive and are usually quite judgemental when we witness less than attractive attributes in others. We turn up our noses. Deep down we feel sorry for this ‘friend’ and think “Oh, I’m so much better off than they”. We threaten to end the relationship thinking that will resolve the negative feelings we’re experiencing.

Wanna know the TRUTH? Everyone who you ever befriend, strike up a conversation with or even just glance at, shares a common trait with you — that’s why you’ve attracted them into your presence. Is that so hard to believe?

If you’re having trouble understanding this concept take a moment to ponder some of your most tumultuous relationships. What are some of the activities these ‘friends’ engage in that you do as well? How does this person handle conflict? How do they interact with others? What emotions arise when you deduce your dealings with them?

Now visualize the people in your life who make you smile, who bring immediate joy, the ones that are a ray of light! How do these people interact with others and what activities do they do? Are these individuals constantly confronted with conflict? And if so, how do they handle it? Ponder, take notice and savor the thoughts and emotions you’ll experience when you envision this.

The point in this exercise is to help distinguish and recognize how EVERYONE in our lives is an immediate reflection of ourselves! It’s real. It’s true.

So when we are confronted with feelings of combat or elation in regards to any relationship in life (no matter the type of relationship or length of it) instead of pointing the finger, placing the blame, or trying to run away, you’ll find it to be more productive to take a good look in the mirror.

In Love,

Jessica