Category Archives: Doula Days — Chronicles of a Doula
Six months ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy just the way I had intended. I manifested every bit of it, even the 2nd degree tear (ample perineal massage would’ve helped)! The entire process was expeditious and straight to the point — just like my son. And I wouldn’t change anything. Well… I could have done without the tear LOL.
Here is Baby Nezrah’s Birth story as promised:
Let’s start off with Wednesday night… My sister had flown into town a few days prior and we decided to hit the mall to shop a bit. I was big and I could feel baby’s head pressing on my cervix. I had just went for a check-up earlier that day because I was already two days ‘overdue’. At that time I was only 1/2 a centimeter dilated — if that. Bummer, I thought. I was somewhat scared I’d be induced or something crazy but I had to remember what my intentions were throughout my entire pregnancy. I wanted a natural, vaginal birth. I get what I want.
As my sis and I walk through the mall we head to the food court, grab a bite, meet up with a friend and decide to go to a fancier locale to get a taste of fine dining. While at the restaurant the girls drank some wine and offered me a bit. I was very hesitant but eventually googled my way to a sip. Since I was already 2 days late I said to myself “If nothing else this will induce me!” We finished our meal and I hopped in my Jeep and headed home to the comfort of my king sized bed. I popped in a movie, ate my to-go box of leftovers and got ready for bed.
At 2:45am on Thursday I woke up to use the bathroom. Nothing unusual there, just a tinge of mucus. At the time it didn’t register that it was the mucus plug. I tried to go back to sleep. Returning to bed would prove to be difficult as usual when you’re 9 months pregnant. So I pop in another movie — Empire Records. Then I noticed I was cramping. Hmmmm ok. A few minutes later another cramping sensation. And then a few minutes later another. Assuming that labor would be at least 10 hours for a first time mom I grabbed an apple (for energy) from the kitchen and watched the movie (for entertainment). Soon after the cramps were getting stronger and I was feeling nauseous. I couldn’t even finish the apple when I ran to the toilet to regergitate the snack. I then knew I was in labor-labor! I cleaned myself and went back to the bedroom to finish the movie. The cramps were coming quickly so I got out my birthing ball and took a seat. I straddled the ball and worked my hips in large circles. Knowing that breath is a vital source of energy, I focused on breathing deeply during each cramping sensation and releasing the slight discomfort with each exhale.
About an hour later I felt a heaviness in my pelvis but continued working the ball a bit. The movie had ended so I put in another — ‘What the Bleep Do We Know’. Moments into the movie the heaviness became almost unbearable. I decided to take a soak in the clawfoot tub (early in my pregnancy I was set on having a water birth). Within seconds of submerging into the bathtub I was having a REAL contraction. It was intense. It was painful. It was EXCRUCIATING!!! So I jumped out of the tub and went back to the bedroom.
Mind you while all this is going on my support system is out and about partying with friends they haven’t seen in years — rightfully so.
Upon returning to the bedroom I straddle the ball again. OUCH!!!!!!!!! “Ya.. that’s not gonna work this time” is what came to mind so I paced through the flat from bedroom through living room to kitchen and back again. Everytime I hit the kitchen a contraction would come and bring me to a complete halt! I grabbed the dining chair and screamed at the top of my lungs “Oh God, Oh!!!!!” At this point the contractions were so intense the only thought that crossed my mind was how the hell am I supposed to do this naturally.
That’s when I started making some phone calls. I called my sister first to come to my aid. Another contraction came over my body and I called my guy. As I was on the phone with him I was hit with another contraction and tossed the phone on the bed, grabbing the sheets for dear life. My water broke. Picking up the phone I exclaimed, “My water just broke. Hurry!” Curious as to if there was meconium in the bag of waters I checked to see and could feel baby’s head!!!! It seemed like forever until my sister arrived but it had only been about 20 minutes. During those moments I scrambled to assemble the remainder of my hospital bag (why wasn’t it packed and by the door when you’re already overdue? I have no idea) while enduring contraction after contraction. Each one leaving my pelvis feeling heavier and more open.
Finally my guy arrived just moments after my sister and he was frantically trying to get me out the door but I wasn’t ‘ready’. I had them grab my belongings and throw them in the car as I coached myself through yet another contraction. My guy helped me down the steps, into the front seat and we were off to the hospital.
It was around 7:15am. The ride there seemed all but 5 minutes as every light was green! And with each contraction the pressure was more and more unbearable. We pulled into the Emergency Room area and I told them what my deal was. She grabbed a wheel chair and whisked me away to triage. I remember having a contraction while being wheeled to triage. I wondered, “Is this me? Am I about to birth my baby?” The woman in triage was asking me questions as I once again was having another contraction — as if the look on my face didn’t say “Why the fuck are you asking me ANYTHING?!!!!!!!!”
The nice lady who wheeled me in said, “She’s further along than we think, get her on the table.” They checked my cervix and I was ‘complete’. I said, “WHAT?!”. I panicked. I was in a bit of denial and disbelief. They wheeled me on the bed to the birthing room and within a few seconds a male doctor was there to help me push. Oh no, I thought. How could I have manifested this?? I was adamant about NOT having a male OB. That’s what happens when you resist. You bring it closer. And unfortunately, since I didn’t call beforehand I couldn’t have my OB to be there. That saddened me, but that was neither here nor there — it was time for me to push my baby out!!!
The OB told me to bear down, hold my breath and push. This is where I stalled. All I kept thinking was hypnobirthing, hypnobirthing, hypnobirthing! I was going to BREATH my baby out. Not push him! I said to myself “breath him out Jess”. The nurses and docs were telling me to push on my next contraction but I had other plans LOL. Well, apparently I was taking to long because three pushes later he was out!!!
So long story short (too late right?!) I birthed my baby vaginally, naturally and in about 4 hours. No epidural, no I.V. and no episiotomy. I’m content with that. However, I was disappointed that I was not allowed time to gently breathe my baby out. I guess it wouldn’t have mattered anyway because I failed to regularly massage my perineum which caused me to tear. And now that I think about it it’s so not his personality type to be ‘gently breathed out’ LOL. That’s ok. I’m just grateful that Nezrah was in agreeance with a natural birth as well. The entire experience was sooooo quick that it took me quite sometime to process my thoughts, feelings AND emotions about his birth.
So that is how Nezrah came into this realm of existence 6mos ago. It is truly a wonderful thing to birth your baby(ies) with intent and focus. That is all I could have asked for.
In Love Consciously Birthing